


Supernova

by SleepieAsh



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Depression, Friendship, Gen, both eli and umi are very lonely, literally everything is sad i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 14:01:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6959932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepieAsh/pseuds/SleepieAsh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Umi meets a girl who is just as alone in the world as she is, if not more so.</p>
<p>"Just like how you said the stars have their own stories, so do we. And just like how stars die, so do we. Beautifully and all at once."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Supernova

She was alone the first time Umi set eyes on her.

She was ethereal with blonde hair and striking blue eyes, sitting by herself in the school's quad. She was looking off at something in the distance, a forlorn look in her eyes and her right hand tightly closed into a fist, probably holding something. There was a slight breeze, making her hair shift slightly and Umi found herself watching the strands flutter.

After watching her for a few minutes, she approached the girl. Others may not think she seemed lonesome but Umi would recognize a lonely person anymore considering that she constantly had the same look in her eyes. That hopeless look had become a part of her and it's the main reason why she decided to approach the other girl in the first place. 

"U-um," Umi choked out, not having thought this through. "Hello."

The girl flicked her eyes towards her and back to whatever she was so intent on looking at. "Hi."

Umi searched for something else to bring the conversation along. She gestured to the empty spot next to where the girl was sitting. "May I sit with you?" she asked after a bit, waiting for the girl's solemn nod before taking the place next to her. 

Umi turned her eyes towards the sky. It was after school and school activities had even ended so the sun was slowly going down. Umi had made a habit of watching the sunset when possible and she wouldn't deny that she was a little happy that she was sitting next to someone now while doing so. 

"The sky is beautiful," she told the girl, lost in thought. "I watch the sun before I sleep almost every night. I read somewhere that over 300 million stars are born every day."

By this point, the girl had turned towards Umi, listening to what she had to say. Umi noted that she seemed vaguely intrigued. 

"It amazes me that each one of them has their own story, their own place in the universe." Umi continued. 

"Just like us." said the girl. 

Umi was shocked but beyond happy that she had spoken to her.

"What's your name?" she asked Umi. 

"Umi. How about you?"

"I'm Eli." she replied, the first smile Umi had seen from her on her lips. Umi couldn't help the smile that started on her face as well. Eli's was beautiful and cheery and she wished more than anything that Eli was not as lonely as she was. 

"What were you doing out here?" Umi asks, simply. "If I may ask?"

Eli sighs deeply and looks at Umi with a sad smile. Her grip on whatever is in her hand tightens and she seemed to be holding back tears. She opens and closes her mouth several times, probably wondering how much to disclose to a stranger. 

"I'm not sure if you've ever heard of bluepills?" she finally says. 

"From The Matrix?" Umi asks, confused. 

Eli nods simply. "So, you're aware of the bluepill referring to people who are ignorant and want to be that way, right?" Umi nods, waiting for Eli to continue. Eli clutches her closed fist to her chest. 

"That's how I am right now."

"How do you mean?" Umi asks, even more confused. 

"I want to be ignorant to everything that happened to me. I don't want to understand any of it. I want to forget everything." Eli replies. "Just like how you said the stars have their own stories, so do we. And just like how stars die, so do we. Beautifully and all at once." 

After listening, Umi realizes that Eli is more lonely than she is. She lost someone and now she's losing herself. She hadn't gone into detail and yet Umi understood everything that was going on. She wondered briefly what Eli was holding. 

"...And that?" Umi gestures to Eli's hand, impulse taking over. 

Eli smiles tightly and stands. She brings her fist to her mouth and swallows whatever was inside of it. She turns away from Umi, gathering her things. 

"Will you be here tomorrow?" she asks Umi. 

Umi nods once, watching her carefully. After seeing her nod, Eli leaves with a graceful walk, not once looking back. Umi lets her go without pressing about whatever she was holding. After a few minutes, she gets up herself and heads home.

\--

Umi didn't ask Eli about it the next day. Or the day after that. Or the next week when they kept meeting at the same place. Umi would take her spot next to Eli and they'd talk about what they'd done that day or their futures. She'd listen to Eli paint the future that she wanted as a dancer and in turn, Eli would hear about her dream to compete worldwide in archery. They had a steady friendship and Umi was content with it.

Sometimes without Eli realizing it, she would watch her for a bit behind one of the trees before making herself known. It'd become a habit since the first day she did it and she'd learned more about her from doing that than Eli had told her herself. 

Every day, sometimes multiple times, Eli would gaze at a picture. Umi didn't know what it looked like or who it was of but every time Eli looked at it, she would get a sad smile on her face, wipe away any tears that had fell and proceeded to swallow whatever was in her closed fist. She seemed to treat whatever it was as a lifeline.  
Umi had wondered at first if it was pills that Eli had become dependent upon but a small part of her thought it was nothing, that Eli was swallowing air to seem as if she was medicating herself. As if to trick herself into thinking so. 

She'd wanted to know at first but eventually, she stopped wondering. As much as she'd come to care about Eli, they weren't best friends. That title was taken by the person in the picture Eli owned, the person she probably talked to when no one else was around, the person she'd probably lost and the reason why she was starting to become lost herself. 

It was ironic but now Umi likened herself to the bluepill analogy Eli liked so much. She wanted to stay ignorant to Eli's troubles. Not just for Eli's good but because she was sure she couldn't handle it herself. 

She figured she would never know. And that was fine.

Even if the day where Eli wanted to tell her came, she’d refuse.

Instead, she’d sit with Eli, watch the sunset with her until the stars came out and wait for the day where the blonde would smile without the weight of her sadness. She’d wait for the day where Eli wouldn’t look at that picture. And she’d wait for the day where Eli didn’t need to swallow everything down with a tightened fist.

Until then, she’d just weave stories for Eli about the stars.


End file.
